This year is bringing a lot of changes, changes that have already occurred and those still to come. It seems as autumn approaches, reflection has tapped softly on my shoulder. I am waking now to realize how blessed my little family really is.
My sister and her husband are expecting their first child at the end of the year. I have worried over her approaching experiences, possibly because that's what I do well, but most likely, simply because I'm her sister. I want the best for them, the easiest most wonderful transition into their new adventure; and I know this will happen, with or without my worry so I have settled to just be content with my excitement. I can't wait to hear all of her stories, her experiences, and that sound of love in her voice that only a parent can relay while talking of their child. How wonderful her adventure will be.
Our children have started school and are doing well. My daughter told me the other night at bedtime that she loved me, "but mommy", she said "I have a friend beside you, and she likes to play babies with me too". I am so proud. Isn't that what we all ultimately want? To see our children experience acceptance and love in their relationships.
I have all but quit my job at the hospital, working the bare minimum to keep my employment so that I can stay home with the children and be involved in their lives, their cooperative preschool, and their growth and transitions. It was a difficult change at first. Somehow I believed that staying home and not working as much decreased my social value, I now understand the truth in that there could be no greater value than the influence you have on a child and their experiences.
I have been proud of my husband as I have quietly stood by him and watched him reestablish a relationship with his brother. While I have watched him seek his own career changes and development, and while I have watched him father our children so wonderfully. He has encouraged me silently as well and I have pursued and achieved reconciliation in some of my relationships that were once sturggles.
I suppose I could tell you the lighter side of things changing. Like how my son likes to make his own peanut butter and honey sandwiches with pickles. About how my daughter loves to go to the bathroom in public restrooms and squeal loudly "good job, you get a new baby doll too!", to any other innocent person in another stall. Or about how my son asked about heaven the other night at the dinner table. The conversation went something like this: "Mom, what's heaven?" I stated something about how it's where some people believe you go after you die. He thought quietly for a long time, then replied, "oh, so is that where you finally get some privacy?". I'm not sure about all of that, but walking home from the park yesterday afternoon in the warm sunlight with leaves crunching below mine and the dogs' feet all while watching my children running in front of me laughing and holding hands sure felt close. Hope this change of season finds you well.